RSS Feeds

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Where did I put that?

"A Florida police department says one of its own lost a confidential list of the department's drug informants when a lieutenant misplaced a flash drive, reported" - Fox News

Ooops. Somebody messed up. Gotta love their official statement on the problem...

 "We are aware of this information and are currently looking into the matter." 

Classic. Nothing to see here folks, move on! I mean can it get more stereotypical? Not that I can blame them, they totally messed up, no one wants to take blame for that.  

Did you see how he lost it? Left it on the roof of his car or the bumper and drove off. Who hasn't been there? I know I have. Luckily, my phone or cup of coffee didn't have a list of drug informants pertinent to cases I was working on.

"Some say the mistake could make informants less likely to help, fearing retaliation on the streets."

Ya think? Kind of a no-brainer there. I know if I were an informant of any kind and my name "might have been leaked" to a criminal I was going to testify against, I'd be a little concerned. 

Stupid criminals are funny, stupid law enforcement is sad.

Wrap that Rascal!

"It's hard to say this conclusively, and judges from other host cities may demand a recount, but Clay Adams of Vancouver Coastal Health said the word on the public health street is that Vancouver is king of the prophylactic winter rings." - CNN

Look at that... Distributing 100,00 condoms. Good for them! Canadians are always so concerned about safety. Unless you're a luger... I'm sorry, was that harsh? Really though was this the most important think you could think to do for safety? 

"Hey, there's some wicked bad curves on the track, oh well! Eh, did ya pass out all them condoms?"

"Oh what there's zero visibility on the downhill skiing slopes? Well, if we can't fix it with a rubber, it's not getting fixed."

You get the idea. Of course I know that the people who control safety and these condom droppers are different people, but it's no fun completely agreeing with something. Check out the quote at the end of the article saying that 35 million condoms were passed out for Mardi Gras in Rio. That's a lot of latex

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Here's the reason you shouldn't drink when doing an interview...

"I've been trying to prove to people I'm not a douchebag by not dating, by keeping my name out of 'Us Weekly'," he said.


One word can describe the interview in context of the statement above... FAIL. Seriously, anything he's done to try to prove he's "not a douchebag" has just been obliterated. You guys seriously have to read this article. He was apparently drinking malt whiskey the whole time, which makes some of his statements forgivable, but you still know he meant some of them. Describing his genitals as "White Supremacists"? You stay classy John Mayer! Then to expound on that further... What was he thinking? For good measure let's toss out the old "N" word too, that'll get your point across.  He also said his dream is to write pornography... So why aren't you doing that? You're already famous right, so now just switch careers. Me thinks he was majorly plastered. Apparently he's been taking his songs to heart a little too much. There is a "real world" Mr. Mayer and you don't say this kind of stuff without repercussuion.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The UN Knows AsBESTos

Climate change skeptics "are people who deny the link between smoking and cancer; they are people who say that asbestos is as good as talcum powder," he said.
"I hope that they apply it (asbestos) to their faces every day."

Fox News

Wow, this guy is taking shots at me and I don't even know him. I didn't realize he read my blog. Oh, wait, no one does. Anyhow... This guy thinks that people are out to get him. He thinks his job is so important that people are plotting against him? He's funny. I didn't even know his job existed. Now that I do, I'm certainly not envious of it. What's also funny is the way he completely disregards the fact that he provide false information and information designed to mislead people as "a blip that is going to pass". Yeah, you got caught lying to people and purposefully misleading them, so you're not going to do it any more. Brilliant!

I do have to give him credit though, he's basically telling anyone who disagrees with him to rub their faces in carcinogens on a daily basis. That's pretty hardcore. He's actually wishing cancer upon people. I mean, even on my worst days I don't tell people "You cut me off you jerk! Hope you get cancer!" To each his own.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Observation of the Day

Randomly I'm going to post some of my observations. This is the "and stuff". 

Global Warming is a funny thing. Apparently it's supposed to make summers and winters warmer. Explain this then Global Warming... Why have we gotten more snow and ice this year than we have in the past 5? Huh? No answer? Didn't think so. Once again, man prevails over Global Warming.  

This Party's on Fire...

A 62-year-old Michigan man was severely burned when a homemade rocket strapped on his back exploded while he slid down a snowy hill on a sled, authorities said this week.


This guy knows how to party! Chips? Check! Soda? Check! Alcohol? CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! Homemade strap on rocket? Check! Wait, what? 

Nothing like getting blazingly drunk and throwing on a rocket made out of a motorcycle muffler, some gun powder, match heads, and some gasoline and having your best bud light the wick. Party on!

Make Like a Tree and Leif

 Leif Garrett has been arrested.
The 1970s pop star was busted Monday in Los Angeles for possession of a controlled substance, TMZ reports.
- Fox News

Why is this news? It's not the 70's. People simply don't give a crap about Leif Garrett. Sure, I'm posting about this so obviously I care in some way, right?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Ice House

Isn't it pretty folks? It's breath taking. You know what else is breath taking? That they're wasting THOUSANDS OF GALLONS OF WATER... It ain't free people. Sure it's pretty but it's completely asinine. How do they come up with this stuff? 

"It really sucks that the housing market has bottomed out in Detroit, how can I help? Oh, I know, I'll coat a house in ice... to lift spirits. No one will care about the ridiculous amount of money I am wasting in water costs. Our already bankrupt society won't notice a little more money trickling down the drain (bah-dum-bump)."

Sad but True

" Police said it appears no one in the family knew about the woman's pregnancy.

Emergency medical workers who were called to the home found the woman unresponsive. Officials wouldn't reveal her name. They said it appears her triplets were carried full term. " -MSNBC

Is this really the country we live in? I hate to talk bad about the dead, but there is about only a few ways a woman could be pregnant with triplets, carry them FULL TERM and not know about it, or have anyone else know about it.  Yes, I'm going to say them. She's either too obese to realize that she had gained any weight, which made everything seem normal... Or, she had the opposite problem and was barely eating anything which caused the triplets to be malnourished.  I realize this a heavy subject (pun intended? too soon?) but what is wrong with our country when no one notices this?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Census Anyone?

"Groves recently toured hard-hit communities to try to ease those concerns, telling residents that participating in the census could lead to better communities with paved roads, more electricity and improved schools. An estimated $400 billion will be dispersed around the country based on census results.

"The benefits of participating in the census are quite large," said Groves. "If you get counted, you get your fair share of that money.""

Ok, so first, let me start by saying I don't plan on quoting in every post. After the jump hear me roar... or something.

Mobile messages setup... now I can be snarky on the go!

Best Picture Expands Candidate Pool

"In a surprise announcement the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences said Wednesday that it would double the number of nominees for the best-picture Academy Award to 10 from 5, returning to a practice it used more than a half-century ago when the number of films released was larger.
The move constitutes the most radical revision of the Oscar-night ritual in recent memory."- NY Times

Ok, seriously, is this neccesary Academy? I mean, honestly do we really need to expand from 5 to 10? Generally there aren't even 5 movies that are really good enough to lump into the "Best Picture Category". Is it a stunt to get people to watch? In my opinion, just because a category has expanded doesn't give me more reason to watch.